The Network Marketing Reveal

Here is a link to my supermarket

As the video said, this is not for everyone, I happened to be at a place in my life where I wanted to be the healthiest I could and these products work for me. During school, and my field work, I  brought my tiny blender and a shake and had my lunch every day with no muss or fuss. I did not have to worry about preparing a lunch or keeping it cold. I would throw  some ice cubes or frozen fruit in the blender before leaving and put it in the fridge when I arrived at school/work. Pretty easy. Like I said, it works for me.

When I was diagnosed with cancer, knowing how very important nutrition is in the fight against it, I was even more committed to the shakes and products. I added other products from Isagenix (nutritional cleanse, ionix  supreme, isagreens and isafruit), along with kale and parsley from my garden, pro-biotics, flax seed, hemp seed, and more. Down the hatch it went.

I had a VERY aggressive course of treatment; one that took its toll primarily on the digestive tract. I feel without the boost I gave it unknowingly the year before my diagnosis I might not be where I am today. I thank God every day for the serendipity that led me to these products.

I also follow The Medical Medium and try to eat as many superfoods as I can. We are what we eat. We are just a machine evolved to work on nutrients...not food per say...but nutrients and minerals found in food.

If I have piqued your interest and you feel you too need to make a change to feel better, lose weight, gain energy, there is a contact form in the right sidebar. Live healthy~live well.

P.S. Next week I begin my second twelve-week placement in occupational therapy field work after leaving last March. It's been a long journey back.  I may not get to writing blog posts with the added hours of work. I will try. 

What Company Do I Work With?

Last week, I had a large number of inquiries asking me:
1) Why I did not name the network marketing company I work with.
2) The name of the network marketing company I work with. 

I said I was going to be transparent and I will be, but let me be mysterious for one more day. Because when I tell you the name, the first thing most people will do is google it. Right? Especially if you have never heard of it. The top three hits will not be the company site, but "ads" from other sources with info about the products and company.

The first hit on my google search was:    Does (name of company) shakes work?

In this list, there are five MLM or network marketing companies, and yes the company I partner with is one of these. Looking through this list myself, to me, it is not an apples-apples comparison. One of the most notable differences to me is the number of calories and amount protein in each. What do you think?

What I like to tell people is that I love a bag of Lays potato chips. I mean I love them. Others might enjoy Cape Cod chips or some other brand local to where they live. To each their own. When I see something interesting at the supermarket, I try it. If I like it, I buy it again.

What I  have noticed with products from networking companies, is that people shop differently. They are much more tentative. I feel so terrible that some people have had a negative experience with this type of shopping. There are many reasons for this, and I understand completely.

 It is a business, and if you have never been in business or sales, the skill level to successfully help a client may not be there in the beginning. It is often those 'newbies' who call their friends and family and don't fully 'vet' the need they might have for the products. But as we like to say, "Sharing is Caring," and that's how networking works, correct?

I am a believer in the business model of network marketing. I am also a believer in the products of my company. Tomorrow I will share my 'supermarket." with you. *Although I can't take credit for what follows (another partner in the company wrote it), it gives a unique view as to how it all works.
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*I own a supermarket, I am a very proud and happy supermarket owner and here is my business model:

I market people to visit my supermarket and give them a good experience. I receive payment for service and a commission for food purchased.

The customer has a great experience, and they refer a friend to visit the supermarket. The customer gets paid for simply referring their friend to the service, and I get paid a commission on the food purchased as the supermarket owner.

The benefits of my business are that it is unlimited in size and there is no cap to how many people visit my supermarket; it could be 1 million at a time.


Benefits to customer:
Can purchase from home
30 day money back guarantee
Quality ingredients
Can have it paid for through networking :)

Benefits to me:
No lease
No staff
No overheads
No fixed costs
No food prep

No waste
No hidden expense
No sick leave/annual leave liability
No retail and distribution

There is a weirdness around my supermarket, but I love my online supermarket of customers, they are looking sexier, more toned, smiling more and glowing every day.... I think my supermarket will grow to thousands of customers as word keeps getting out.

My supermarket beats the toxic chemicals sold to children in aisle 7. And the five scoops of added sugar in Aisle 5, not to mention the false food 5-star rating in Aisle 9.

I love my job. Happiest supermarket owner in the world, because I am making a difference in my customer's life and making them feel better for a living.

Some people don't like my supermarket, but that's okay. That's what other shops are for.

Acceptance into Springfield College

 Over the course of the year I spent taking Anatomy & Physiology, I looked into a few occupational therapy programs, but in the end only applied to Springfield College. I was in the process of applying to Bay Path College when I received my acceptance letter from Springfield.

Today, almost four years later, it seems the excitement I felt upon opening the acceptance letter was above and beyond. I ran around the house in pure glee. It felt like one of the most accomplished moments of my life up to that point. It was a big deal to me.

I'm curious to know if any of my readers can remember a moment in their life like that; a moment you have strived for, and it had materialized. It's a fantastic feeling. Isn't it?

The letter came sometime in the spring, and I think I was ready to order all the books the next day, but I didn't. The summer was spent in a deep state of migraine if I remember correctly and I wondered how I was going to manage school if the migraines continued. Somehow it all worked out.

The first week of school was not fun for me. Whether it was a virus, nerves, or the fact I had eaten a pound of chick peas, I don't know, but I had diarrhea. Oh boy! I could not eat nor drink any fluids without problems, and yet I had to be in class. There was another classmate with a similar problem. I have no idea how we started discussing this very personal problem, but we commiserated for the rest of the week and became fast friends.

The second thing to happen in the first week that sent me over the edge was being asked to write a paper. I was in a class with about thirty 21-35-year-olds and writing a paper was nothing for them. They could type fast. They new the computer program and editing and formatting. They had just finished undergrad schooling and were damn good at writing papers. I had not written a paper in twenty years. I had a panic attack. The paper was a compare and contrast paper. I didn't even know what that meant (Hello Lisa... compare and contrast!!!!).

I tell people I cried every day for eight weeks straight. And I did!! It was one of the scariest, and hardest things I ever did. I ended up going to the counseling center for help psychologically to get me through. When I dropped into the counselor's office six months later to say hi, he told me he NEVER thought I would make it. AT the time, he was so concerned for my mental health that he had me coming in twice a week.

I made the decision to drop neuroanatomy class and take the program at a slower pace. The program called for taking both neuroanatomy and clinical anatomy in the first semester. These classes entailed a ton of memorization which was just too much for my brain. In hindsight, I could have managed them both because neuroanatomy was not as difficult as I had imagined in the beginning. Oh well, all things for a reason. This put me six months behind the rest of my class and had me graduate with the upcoming class. In the end, I took classes with three different groups of graduating classes and got to know many people. I liked that.

Back to School for Lassie and Learning Disabilities

Upon seeing occupational therapy performed at Litchfield Woods that July or August day in 2013, I immediately went home and looked up occupational therapy programs on-line. As it so happened, my daughter, Molly was home visiting for a week and was questioning her vocational path in life. A few days earlier we had a conversation with my neighbor, who just happens to be an occupational therapist and she was telling Molly how it might be something for her to look into for her future. My neighbor, Sharon, had gone to Springfield College for her degree in OT and had great comments about the program. Thus, this was where I looked first.

My bachelor's degree was in psychology, and I had all of the pre-requisites except anatomy & physiology that Springfield College required. Not bad! Next on the agenda was to find a course. Berkshire Community College in Great Barrington, MA. was offering a class that started in a few weeks. I signed up that day. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I make fast decisions.

I had just turned 53 when I entered school again. I am now 57 and still at it. I am committed to completing my dream no matter what gets in the way. Screw roadblocks. I just spit them out (smile).
I will admit it right here. I love school, but it has not always been this way. As a child, I did NOT like school after second grade. From third through twelfth grade it was a downward spiral of just getting by academically. It is not as though I failed or even received poor grades, but I was not happy and certainly did not excel. In truth, I cheated quite a bit back then. I had to have tutors for simple math, and my writing has always been atrocious. I believe what saved me is my curiosity and my absolute love for reading. 

It was only last year that I discovered why the third grade was the turning point for me in school. Although I have never been officially diagnosed as learning disabled, I am. When I was in grammar and high school, learning disabilities had not been 'invented/discovered' yet. People were just thought to be slow/uneducable/the 'r' word or like me, NOT LIVING UP TO YOUR POTENTIAL!! How many times did I hear that? It was just recently, in the fall of 2015, during a class in school that when I was shown the documentary How Difficult Can This Be? The F.A.T. City Workshop that I realized what one of the LD's (learning disabilities) of mine was. Auditory Processing Disorder (APD). I am also ( never diagnosed) ADHD with some dyslexic tendencies. To get a diagnosis today would cost approximately $3000, and I have developed coping skills that would negate some of the testings. The damage has been done. You just have to know me for a brief time to see the ADHD and read my writing without spell check or grammarly to see the dyslexia.

During the documentary, a light bulb went off that brought tears down my cheeks. I had never even heard of APD before, and yet the explanation I was hearing fit me to a tee. Remembering back to third grade where I cried every day and begged not to go, I realized that my teacher was Italian. She had a strong Italian accent, and with auditory processing problems, it was likely I could not understanding what she was saying. To this day I still have extreme difficulty understanding people with foreign accents of even strong American accents. This also explains why I find it difficult to hear in a noisy room and often rely on reading lips as well as listening to the voice.

Every item below is me:
•have trouble paying attention to and remembering information presented orally, and may cope better with visually acquired information
•have problems carrying out multi-step directions given orally; need to hear only one direction at a time
•have poor listening skills
•need more time to process information
•have low academic performance
•have behavior problems
•have language difficulties (e.g., they confuse syllable sequences and have problems developing vocabulary and understanding language)
•have difficulty with reading, comprehension, spelling, and vocabulary

In adults, also me:
•talk louder than necessary
•have trouble remembering a list or sequence
•often need words or sentences repeated
•have poor ability to memorize information learned by listening
•interpret words too literally
•need assistance hearing clearly in noisy environments
•rely on accommodation and modification strategies
•find or request a quiet work space away from others
•request written material when attending oral presentations
•ask for directions to be given one step at a time

I did not intend for this post to be on learning disabilities, but as you will find out, that is how this brain of mine works. Very tangential (part of the LD mind). I'm happy I was able to show it in practice.

Back to A & P (smile). I had a  terrific teacher, Dr. Joe Kravitz. Just looking at his picture again makes me smile. As a retired medical doctor, he was able to bring the coursework to life in a way that made me want to excel and learn every possible aspect. I needed an A in the two-semester class, and I achieved an A. So much fun. At Springfield, I furthered my anatomy knowledge with a Clinical Anatomy course where we worked on human cadavers. Would you like to hear what that was like? 

Teal & White Tuesday ~ Fight Cervical Cancer

GET THE FACTS

Today is the last day of #CCAM Cervical Cancer Awareness Month, and although I said I was going to introduce you to my surgeon/oncologist today, you will have to wait until next week for her amazing story.

Instead, I would like to focus on some of the facts about this disease and how to prevent it. Since my diagnosis, I have been made aware that many women and men are 'unaware' of the primary cause of cervical cancer. Do you know what it is? Do you know the two ways to decrease your chance of getting cervical cancer? Cervical cancer is one of the few cancers that is caused by a virus. The virus is the Human Papillomavirus or HPV for short. I would encourage you to click on the link to read more about it. Knowledge can save lives.

I knew this information before my diagnosis. I knew about HPV. I knew I had, had an infection with HPV 30 years before, but nothing prepared me for getting cervical cancer because as you will see below, I only had one of the risk factors.

Here are the risk factors for cervical cancer via the American Cancer Societies Website:

• •Having the HPV virus - YES- was positive for it 30 years prior with negative PAP smears every year since.
• •Smoking- Never have
• •Weak Immune System-No
• •Infection with Chlamydia-Not that I am aware of.
• •Diet low in fruit and vegetables-NO
• •Overweight-No
• •Long-term use of oral contraceptives- No
• •IUD-Never
• •3 or more full-term pregnancies- No
• •Younger than 17 for first full term pregnancy-No
• •Low economic status-No
• •Family history of cervical cancer-No
• •DES-No

I had one risk factor. ONE!!! ONE!!! And as far as I knew the virus had cleared 30 or so years prior. I do know that one of the reasons my cancer was not found earlier and had advanced to stage 2b before it was detected was because the type of cancer I had was cervical adenocarcinoma. This type of cervical cancer is a rarer form and only affects 10-15% of patients. It starts much higher up in the cervix closer to the uterus in what is called the 'transformation zone.' A PAP smear in the lower cervix may not pick up cells higher in this part of the body. At least that is what I was told.

My guidance to anyone when it comes to preventing cervical cancer is this:

1.  If you are young and not yet sexually active, male or female, get the vaccine against HPV. I know there is controversy about vaccines, but please read this article and do your research before you risk preventing a very preventable cancer.
2. If you are women, get your yearly Pap tests. Get an HPV test as well, and if you know you have HPV, find out the strain. There are over 150 different strains, with only a few causing cancer. HPV 16 & 18 and  HPV types 31, 33, 45, 52, 58.  
3. Lastly, this is not just a female issue. HPV causes both anal and throat cancer in men.

Telling Loved Ones "It's Cancer"



After hearing the news that I had cancer, I was faced with telling my family.

Has a loved one every told you they had cancer? Do you remember your feelings? Or have you had to tell your friends and family about a cancer diagnosis?

I was in a state of shock when I left the doctors office and remember trying to phone family to get support. Today as I write this, I can't remember who it was I tried calling first; my sweetie, my sister, my son or daughter. I'm not sure.  I do know that in the end, my mother was the only one home to take my call.  How does a mother take the words that her child has cancer? Not very well! She did her best to be calm while she was on the phone with me, but I was told that she spent the rest of the day curled up in a ball crying.

When I arrived home, my sweetie (new name for not-husband), was outside with our dogs. I told him the news and we hugged for a long time. Sweeties mom passed away from a female cancer when she was just 41 years old and he was 18. Although he has never shown his fear, I'm sure there is a part of him that can't believe someone he loves is dealing with cancer again.

Telling my children was also very hard. My daughter Molly has had a fear her entire life of losing me. It is the over-riding fear of her life. So you can imagine what it was like for me to know this and have to tell her I now had a disease that could possibly take my life. We "facetime" quite often and I chose this mode of communication to tell her. She took the news like a champion and has remained a champion throughout. My son, has had his own brush with death in the form of a heart attack. He is  ex-military (army ranger), ex-police officer, and was once called by an Army Sgt. "The toughest mamma's boy he had ever met". He was very positive with me, telling me "No quitting, keep fighting", and "You can do this".

My sister Patti, did not take the news well and went into mama mode researching holistic means of healing, and coddling me as only she can do. Love you Patti. My sister Karen, and my brothers were told the news via other family members so I don't know first hand their immediate reaction, but they have all been extremely supportive and loving to me. I could not ask for a better family.

Then came the friends!! Ahhh! There were just three that I felt the need to tell in person. Karen, Caryn, and 'my person'. The two Karen/Caryn's, were not new to cancer. We had lost our friend 'Karen' (yes there had been 3 Karen's) to breast cancer in 2004. The last thing I wanted to do was tell them I had cancer. Karen, was out of the country on vacation, so it would be a week or more before she would find out. Caryn came over to my house immediately upon hearing to offer hugs of support. 'My person' was going through her own trials at the time, but showed extreme courage in putting on a good face and being there for me.

This is a note I wrote that day:
April 21, 2016
Today I was diagnosed with cancer.
Hmmm
Was not in my vocabulary.
Taken off guard.
Scared.
Want it out.
Trusting I can heal.
I believe all will work out.
Thank you God.

I chose to use an oncology/gynecology group out of  Baystate Hospital  and the D'amour Cancer Center in Springfield, Mass. Although it was further away than Berkshire Medical Center in Pittsfield, Mass., I had become familiar with Springfield through graduate school and had also heard very positive comments on the hospital. Tomorrow I will introduce you to my oncologist and surgeon, Dr. Nada Kawar.

Nothing Happens By Chance

Yesterday I told you the 'why' for me in pursuing the business side of network marketing was to help pay off my enormous student loans. It is actually a pretty big why. At my age, that amount of debt is a lot, especially when you also don't have any savings for retirement. I am 57, an age when many of my friends are set to retire soon, meanwhile I will just be beginning to save for my retirement and then there is that pesky diagnosis from last year to think about. So giddy-up my friends, I need to move fast!!!

I was introduced to the company and products I represent by pure chance. My son had moved to Charlotte, N.C. in the winter of 2015 and somehow a friend of my sisters found this out on Facebook. My sister, Patti, has been in a few direct sales businesses in her life and is very good at it and this couple wanted to introduce her to their company and were willing to fly her to Charlotte so she could take a look at it. My sister, does not enjoy traveling alone, and told them that she would only come if I could come too. The caveat for me, was that I would get to visit with my son. I was NOT interested in the business. No sir! I was just going for the free trip. BUT!!!! Unbeknownst to her and them, before we left, I did some research. After all, I'm a graduate student. I love research!! And I was prepared and actually liked what I had researched.

In my first blog post, I told you I was going to be transparent. What this means to me, is that I am going to share with you some things about myself that many people would never share. Like constipation and diarrhea! You heard it here first in a post about network marketing. But let's be honest, when the pipes are not working, we feel like, OK, shit. For 8-10 years I have been on a prescription drug for migraines called Topamax. One side effect of this drug is constipation! Yes, there is a reason why I am sharing this.

The day after our arrival in Charlotte our soon to be up-line  gave each of us a  shake for breakfast. The shake is the cornerstone of the companies products. It was quite delicious. Some skepticism leaves. About twenty minutes later I excuse myself to the powder room. This never happens, especially while traveling. If you know what I mean, ladies! I was truly impressed and we all got a giggle out of it. The shake contains fiber. No big revelation. But for ME, it WAS a big deal. A really, really BIG deal. I mean really!!!! Next came an introduction to a few more products and this skeptic, (I can really be a Debbie Downer when it comes to certain things), was sold. That was almost 3 years ago and other then while I was going through treatment, not a day has gone by that I have not used these products. My 84 year old mother uses the products and her doctor says she has never been healthier.

As an aside, I will be forever grateful for this bit of serendipity because from June-December in 2015 and January-June in 2016 (when I started chemotherapy/radiation), I was able to put nutrition into my body that fueled and supported it in ways I probably still don't realize. So many people have commented on how good I look and how well I have done through surgeries and treatment. I believe so much of it is due to the products made by this company that supported me on a cellular, nutritional level.

I chose to become an occupational therapist that moment sitting in a SNIF when I saw that I could impact a mans life by just moving my arms to do an exercise with him. I chose occupational therapy because I love helping people get healthy, feel better, and become all they can be. My goals and desires in my network marketing business are no different. I want to help people get healthy, feel better, and become all they can be. I hope to inspire and change lives. If people say no to me, that's ok. They may not be ready or may have other ways to approach health. For me, hands down I am a believer in the products I use and with my recent health concerns am even more thankful that God put them in my path.

Network Marketing~It's A Perspective

It is my guess that every person reading this post has been approached by a family member, friend, classmate, workmate, or someone else and asked to either host a party, buy products, or join a Network Marketing ~MLM~Direct Sales business. True? And everyone has an opinion about what these companies are about. You know~~pyramid scheme, scam, money pit, over-priced OR fantastic products, best thing that ever happened to me, my road to financial freedom. For most people they are somewhere in the middle of those two. They are happy to support a Scentsy or LuLaRoe party , or even buy some beauty products from an Avon or Mary Kay representative. Do you have Tupperware in your home? Is this your experience? Have you ever been involved with the business side of one of these companies?

My career path in direct sales started over 32 years ago as a Tupperware lady. I still have much of the Tupperware I acquired from that time. Gosh, I had not thought of that before. How old it is!!!! Wow. I guess it DOES last. A few other dips into some other companies followed through the years. I am actually one of those people that believe in the model of direct sales.

If you think of some of the larger companies such as Tupperware, Avon, and Mary Kay, and understand that they never advertised in magazines, on television, radio or any other form other than through their representatives word of mouth, it's a pretty big thing. These became multi-million dollar companies AND women drove them. I like that part.

 



Power to the women. In this day and age where women still are not paid the same wage as men, with direct sales/network marketing all bets are off. We can create our own paycheck. This is very inviting. It is also inviting because it can be done from home for a mom with small children. It can be done in the evening for those who want to start part time. It is very flexible.

Why it might not work. It takes work!!! Let me say that again. It takes work, and lots of it, at least to get to the $100,000 mark like in the image above. Some people are naturals at it. Others, like me have to 'go to school' to learn about the ins and outs of it. However, just like in my schooling to become an occupational therapist, there comes a time when you have to take all you have learned and put it into practice. Ahhhhhhhhh! Anyone out there willing to help me practice? Family need not answer this :)

You might be asking yourself, "Why would I become involved with this type of business while I am in the process of becoming (really almost there) an occupational therapist?" A career I say I love!!! Well, here is the answer. Student loans!!!! Student loans!!!! Student loans!!!! So, even though occupational therapists make a fairly good salary, the amount I will owe in student loans each month will take away any gains. Right now, without a job, and being out of school due to cancer, I am being charged $25.00 per DAY just in interest. That is $750.00 a month accumulating just in interest. My loan repayment right now is close to $2000. a month.

Some people choose to do this type of business to make an extra 400.00 a month for a car payment or to put money away for their children's college fund. Others just use it for fun money i.e. going out to dinners, movies, taking vacations. The key is to make more than you spend on the business and products. In the beginning, like in any business, it is a bit lopsided, you need to put in money to make money. But trust me it won't be the six figures that I have spent for my occupational therapy degree! And you won't have the FEDS over your head with student loans asking for payments.

As you can see, I am a believer. I have a WHY! I am not afraid to take a risk! Hell, I just went through cancer! Someone telling me no does not bother me! And best of all! I love the products and company I represent! Till tomorrow.....

A Light Bulb Moment-Occupational Therapy

 

I wish I could remember the exact date that I saw occupational therapy (OT) in practice for the first time. Much like March 14th, the day I realized something was wrong physically with me, it was a day that changed my life. I believe it was in late July or early August.

Miss E. was in rehab at Litchfield Woods, in nearby Torrington, CT. I first went and watched her do her physical therapy. If I remember correctly they had her walking between a parallel bar to gain some endurance. Next came occupational therapy.

My first impression was, wow, this is a colorful room. I can actually still see it crystal clear in my minds eye. It was filled with light, had mats on the floor, some exercise machines, a bed, a bathroom and many other tools of the trade.

There was an OT sitting on a large inflatable ball doing therapy with an older gentleman. I was sitting on the sidelines in a chair with my mind spinning. Miss E. was working her upper arms with a hand bicycle machine. The goal was to bring up a smiley face on a computer screen by going the proper speed (I think). She needed encouragement for this as she would get distracted, however she loved a challenge and tried hard.

Meanwhile there was a man (older) sitting just a few yards in front of me. He had been given his therapy exercises and left to do them on his own. I'm sure he was familiar with what he was supposed to be doing. He either was not in the mood or something else was going on. He looked at me. I looked at him. I started doing the motions of the exercise with him. (It's just who I am). He started doing them with me. That was the moment I became an occupational therapist. Right in that moment I saw the power of the process, the connection, the meaning, and MY purpose.

No one in the room noticed what had happened, as in me helping to get this man to do his therapy. They were busy working with other people, but I knew and will always remember. When the OT had some time, I asked her about what it meant to be an OT. She told me how she loved her job and all the ways it helped people.

I literally, and I truly mean literally made up my mind to become an occupational therapist in that hour. My husband was away on a trip in Alaska. Most couples discuss important ideas and life changes like going back to school and spending hundreds of thousands of dollars. Not me! I just jump right in. Okay, if I am going to be transparent I might as well be right here and now. My husband is really my not-husband. How about that for a description. That is how he will be referred to moving forward. My not-husband. What that means is he is everything a husband would be, but we are not married. We have been together now for over 28 years. So, I guess that IS one of the reasons I did not feel compelled to tell him about my plans. We live our own lives, but support one another in our ventures.

Have you ever done something like that? Made a big decision and not told your significant other about it first? Would you ever consider going back to school in your 50's?

Next week~ Anatomy and Physiology and applying to graduate school

I Finally Know What I Want to Be When I Grow Up

For decades, yes, decades, I would look upon those with careers with admiration. At the age of 54, I had yet to find my calling! I hear my daughter exclaiming already, but your were our mom and that was the best calling! Yes, my dearest, it was a good calling, but it did not pay the bills. What I did for most of those decades was work in the food industry in some form or another.

Here I am with my sister Patti appearing on the noontime TV show, CT Style.

 

A couple of  years after this photo was taken my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer which had metastasized to his long bone (femur, pelvis). As he drew closer to the end of his life, it was winter, and I was working at The Old Inn on the Green. I was able to stop work and basically move in with my parents and help care for him. He was in and out of hospitals and SNIFS (Skilled Nursing Facilities) and I would go be with him there every day. He was an anxious old bird and always needed family around. Not to be insensitive, he suffered from terminal restlessness, and it was really horrific.  His famous two lines were, "What are we going to do?" and "I'm so glad you are here." What are we going to do, was not with voice raised at the end as in a question. It was more like Eyore the donkey might say it, with dread and moaning. Slowly saying each word ...What...Are...We...Going...To...Do!!!!!!! As in HELP! HELP! HELP! All we could do was to give him more drugs to calm him, play music he loved, and reassure him all would be well and we were taking care of him. Poor daddy!

 

I tell you this because I found out I truly enjoyed, yes enjoyed, caring for him. I did not mind any of the medical procedures, or long hours with him. I did not mind the constant reassuring of a mind that had no short term memory. I did not mind thinking about the ensuing death. In fact I was the family member that broke the news to him that there was nothing more we could do.

 

Soon after he passed, I was asked to care for another person. A family member of a friend. I joyfully said yes. I will never, ever regret that decision. I met the most wonderful family and husband and wife and learned so, so much from all of them. Papa Joe, who is now 91 still checks in on me.

 

During my time with them, his wife had a small stroke and ended up in rehab. As her caretaker, I wanted to learn the best ways to help her once she returned home. I chose to go to the rehab and watch her speech, occupational, and physical therapy sessions. It was in her occupational therapy session that I finally found what I wanted to do when I grew up. The light bulb when off almost immediately. I will share the experience with you tomorrow.

 

Be well my friends. No news yet on the CT scan. I am hoping no news is good news. 

I'm Sorry But, You Have Cancer part 2

My D& C with colposcopy was done on April 6, 2016. At this time I had begun my second level II field work in occupational therapy working in Farmington, CT with children. The site was very supportive of what was happening in my life and I will be forever thankful for that.

I had the procedure at Fairview Hospital in Great Barrington, MA. It is a small local hospital where I was treated like a queen by the staff. I am not bothered by anesthesia so it was not a bad experience other than the cramping and lite bleeding  that took place for a couple of days.

When I came out of the OR, Dr. Dread, came to speak to me. The only real news he had to tell me was that my uterus was "fluffy". Very "fluffy". I googled this once I got home till I was blue in the face and found nothing relative to cancer. He also told me there was a spot that looked suspicious at 7:00 (think of the cervix as a circle) and that a LEEP procedure should take care of it.

I went back to work at my level II field work site and waited for my appointment which was in about 2 weeks. This appointment had been scheduled at the same time as the D & C procedure.

Some advice to those reading this. Don't assume anything. I assumed that if they found anything 'tragic", they would call me right away. Not so. The morning of my appointment my husband asked me if I wanted him to go along with me. I said, "No, if something was wrong they would have called me already". I had also previously brought "my person" to another appointment for support and did not ask her to this one either. When I entered the office, the nurse said to me, "Where is your 'person'?" I should have known something was wrong right then.

In comes Dr. Dread and sits on a stool below me.

• You have cancer
• It is adenocarcinoma which is the rarer form of cervical cancer
• Adenocarcinoma is more aggressive than squamous cell
• Are you alright???????

No buddy, I am not alright!!! At which point he tried to give me a hug. Really!!! This is how you tell someone they have cancer? No preparation! No support! And you wait 2 weeks for what you call an 'aggressive form' to tell me?

I was furious and furious is not something I do often. I called them back later in the day and gave them a piece of my mind. They said they did not like to give 'that kind' of information over the phone so this is how they do it. Well then they should tell the patient to bring someone to this appointment regardless of what they think they might hear. They should make it mandatory that the person does not come alone. They should prepare the patient that at the appointment they 'might' be getting bad news. I was never given any indication that I was dealing with cancer. Of course I new that is what they were testing for, but everything had come back 'meh'.

Once my radical hysterectomy was done. The cancer/tumor encompassed 100% of my cervix. 100%!!! How did this doctor not see this? It had also spread microscopically to 6 lymph nodes. Aggressive. Yes! Let's wait a little longer to take care of it.

Next week... The Radical Hysterectomy

I'm Sorry But, You Have Cancer

Why I am sharing this story in detail.

With this diagnosis I yearn to learn more from women who have had this disease and how they managed it and how it affected them. I want to know if my experience is similar or different from theirs. I want to know everything I can. In searching I have found tidbits from women on sites where they are  answering someone's question, but I'm not sure if I have ever found a whole story.

As much as I want to continue to learn, now I have my own knowledge from experience and want to share that knowledge with others. I want to share my story, and hope some day it might help a women in shoes similar to mine gain some understanding about the process.

All cancers, (as in every single one) is different. Each person is different and comes with different genes, lifestyles, and habits. My journey will not be your journey, but it might shed light and help you to make decisions based on what I have learned through my journey. 

The beginning:
It all began on Tuesday March 14th, 2016 while I was in the second to last week of my first level II field work for occupational therapy. Level II field work consists of two twelve week placements at clinics/facilities/schools etc.. One 12 week placement is in mental health and one is in physical disability. I happened to be at a VA (Veterans Administration) hospital doing my physical disability rotation.

I stood up from my desk after writing my SOAP notes for the day and felt a wet fluid coming out of my vagina. It felt like blood. Being 56 at the time and well into menopause I knew that if it was blood it was not a good thing. I went to the ladies room to check. It was blood. A fair amount. I remained relatively calm on the outside, but not so much on the inside. It had soaked straight through my pants and I was happy I was wearing very dark pants that hid it.

On my way home from Albany, an hour and fifteen minute drive, I called my sister, and we both concurred a trip to the ER was in order. A phone call to my GP also confirmed this would be the best course of action since they were closing for the day.

I won't go into details. Blood work, exam, ultrasound, all came up "unremarkable". The ER doctor set me up with a follow-up with a local gynecologist for more extensive testing. I had been using my GP for Pap testing for the past 10 years, of which all had come up clean. Many years ago, as in 28, I had a Pap test come up with dysplasia with results of HPV. Prior exams all were negative and I was now following the new guidelines and it had been 2 years since my last exam when this occurred. Fiddlesticks.

I saw this new doctor who I tried to like upon meeting. He did a biopsy on me. Then I did not like him. Fiddlesticks again. I won't tell you how brave I am when it comes to pain, but I had two children without medication. This hurt like hell. The results were: atypical cells. Not conclusive enough. Next was a D & C and colposcopy. He wanted to do them separately and I said, "Oh, hell no. You do them both while I am under anesthesia". He said he did not know if there was a colposcope in the operating room. I think I gave him the evil eye. Both procedures were done under anesthesia.

Stay tuned for what happened.....

**In real time... Today (1/23/17) I am having my first CT scan since the end of treatment. Hold me in your thoughts and prayers.   

Sassy Lassie